Episode 1/Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of "Good Morning SAGA". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

(Faint music can be heard in the background as the camera pans over the bedroom of a girl fixing her polka-dotted bow in front of a mirror as she sways side to side to the music on her laptop.)

Sakura: *continues to dance along* I’m Sakura Minamoto, and today my second year of high school begins! *Heads over to her laptop to turn the music off* I can be kind of a klutz most of the time, and there are days where it feels like I really don’t have it together. But, luckily, it’s not gonna be like that anymore! *takes one last look at her application form* I’m gonna be the girl I always wanted to be! *rushes downstairs and puts on her shoes* If I follow my dreams, *goes outside and shields her face from the sun* I know my future will be filled with happiness and excitement! *gives a reassuring nod to the sun* Here I go~

(Not even a minute has passed since she had stepped out of her house, a speeding truck hits her straight on, catapulting her midair. Her body drops dead on the road as the truck can be seen driving off without a second thought, resulting in a hit and run.)

(Thunder can be heard coming from outside, as rain continues to poor heavily. Sakura wakes up in a dark mansion and begins to look at her surroundings. She hears creaking sounds nearby and decides to look out the window. She continues to explore the mansion some more until a zombie crashes through a glass window, revealing herself to Sakura.)

Tae: *crashes through glass* UWARGH!

Sakura: H-huh?! *turns around, scared*

(Tae cracks the joints in her body and gets up, then proceeds to tackle Sakura head on as Sakura escapes.)

Sakura: *finds a door and manages to hide herself from Tae*

(Tae slamming on the other side of the door makes Sakura flinch. Sakura backs away, only to trip over Ai Mizuno’s lifeless body on the floor.)

Tae: *punches through the glass window of the door and peers through* Uwaaah...

Sakura: Hnnngh... *looks at Tae, head-on, as the rest of the zombies creep up behind her*

Junko: *tries to reach for Sakura* Ugh.....

Yugiri: *has both her arms up* Gruh....

Saki: *also tries to reach for Sakura* Grehhhh....

Lily: *approaches Sakura with her mouth full of drool* Uwergh.....

Sakura: Uh-uh, aaah- *tries to back away only to bump into Ai’s body again*

Ai: *turns to look at Sakura* Grugggh....

Sakura: UWAAAAH! *bumps into a wall and furiously tries to open the door*

(She looks around, first to the four zombies approaching her, then to the door that Tae lets herself in with, followed by an Ai who just gets up.)

Sakura: *to herself* Oh, god. Think fast! *her hand aimlessly looks for a nearby weapon and reaches a metal rod* Huh? *she throws this at Ai, who gets pinned to a wall as she runs away*

Sakura: *the four girls from before briefly gets a hold of her as she shakes them off and hurries for the doorknob again*

(Sakura manages to escape to the hallway, down the stairs and then out of the mansion, into the heavy rain. As she continues to run, her make-up slowly washes off of her face. She arrives at a nearby sidewalk.)

Sakura: *panting* Okay, I think I’m far enough away. *notices a sign for Machida River, followed by one that says “Saga Prefecture”* Sa...ga? Is that where I am?

(A police officer approaches her with his bike in tow.)

Police Officer: Hey, little girl! You’re not supposed to be out this late! What’re you trying to do, get arrested? Cus’ I’ll do it! All I’m tryna do is clock out and go home, I’m soakin’ wet down to my underpants here!

Sakura: Officer, please! I need help!

Police Officer: *tries to get a closer look* Hm?

(The camera shows a metal tube of a nearby house spraying muddy water onto the sidewalk.)

Police Officer: *terrified* Uh, uh-uh... *drops his bike and tumbles back* What the-?!

Sakura: *her face now obscured from the camera* Are you- *gets a gun pointed at her* HUH?!

Police Officer: *continues to aim his gun at her* Stay back! What’s wrong with you?!

Sakura: *confused* Huh? I-huh? *turns to look at the closest street mirror*

(Water continues to spray out of the metal tube as the camera quickly shifts back to Sakura’s reflection. The camera shifts back at the metal tube, now spraying water faster, then back at Sakura’s reflection, finally revealing that she herself is also a zombie.)

Sakura: *gets shot* Huh? *looks down at the hole in her chest and looks back at the cop*

(The cop, still visibly shaking, has not let go of his aim and is still in high alert as Sakura drops lifelessly to the cold sidewalk.)

Police Officer: *approaches Sakura who is now on the ground* Zombie?

Sakura: *eyes dart up to look at him*

Police Officer: Uh?! *gets hit in the back of his head with a shovel and passes out* Ugh...

(Just before she passes out, she sees a man in sunglasses holding an umbrella alongside the shovel he used to knock out the police officer.)

(Sakura wakes up and finds herself laying on the couch of a dimly lit room.)

Sakura: *sits up* Huh? Now where am I? *sees a mirror on the wall and heads over to it*  What happened to me. Why do I look so- *shakily reaches for the gunshot hole on her chest* It’s all blank, I can’t remember! What am I?!

(The same man from before, now holding an undead dog in his arms, appears at her side out of nowhere.)

Kotaro: You’re Sakura Minamoto.

Sakura: *gasps in shock and turns to him* It’s...you again.

Kotaro: You were killed by a truck ten years ago.

Sakura: Uh, I was what?

Kotaro: *approaches her* But now you’ve returned to life as a zombie.

Sakura: *in disbelief* I’m a...zombie?

Kotaro: Your vital mission is to assume this new identity as Zombie One and work with the rest of your team to save the Saga Prefecture.

Sakura: Look, sir, I’m sorry but...I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Kotaro: *takes her blushing face by the chin and brings it closer to his own* You’ll understand soon enough. Listen, as long as you follow my instructions exactly, I promise you’ll probably be fine.

Sakura: *still blushing, mentally to herself* Um...why...

Kotaro: *still holding her face* My name is Kotaro Tatsumi-

Sakura: *mentally to herself* It’s totally weird...that he’s got...

Kotaro: *still holding onto her face* I’m the man who is going to turn you into a pop idol!

Sakura: *mentally to herself, while still blushing* Why does he...have squid in his pocket?

(The camera slowly zooms into the fried squid tentacles sticking out of his chest pocket as Romero pants in his arms.)

(An eagle can be seen circling the mansion from up above as the camera pans downwards to the mansion. The rest of the girls are mindlessly wandering around the basement with a confused Sakura sitting on a foldable chair next to Romero.)

Kotaro: *enters the room* Hello and good morning, ladiiies!

Sakura: *looks around nervously to make sure if he was talking to her*

Kotaro: *begins to approach Sakura* I said GOOD MORNING!

Sakura: *intimidated* Uh...sorry! Good morning.

Kotaro: *backs away* You should mind your manners. That’s the only way to make sure that people respect you. I mean, look! *gestures to the rest of the mindless zombies wandering around* everyone’s ignoring you.

Sakura: Huh?!

Kotaro: *turns his attention to Romero* Morning, Romero. Good job wrangling the girls as always! *rips off a bit of fried squid tentacles and drops it in front of him*

Romero: *grins widely* Haaah! *morphs into his more terrifying form to finish the rest of the fried squid*

(A caption appears onscreen, warning the audience to not feed actual dogs fried squid.)

Sakura: *climbs halfway up her chair* Huh? Ayiee!

Kotaro: Let’s begin! *turns to the chalkboard* Time to work extra hard to make you world-class idols!

(The rest of the girls are still wandering around mindlessly as Romero continues to chew on the fried tentacles.)

Sakura: *nervously raises her hand* Um, real quick?

Kotaro: *points at her* Yes, you! And by the way, your complexion’s looking radiant today!

Sakura: I just have a question.

Kotaro: *nodding in agreement* By all means, bring it on!

Sakura: I’m dead. Like, actually dead. Right?

Kotaro: *smiling* Dead as dirt. And now, you’re Zombie One.

Sakura: And just how did that happen to me? Sir?

Kotaro: *frowns* Come ooon, didn’t you ever see a horror movie when you had a heartbeat?

Sakura: Uh, well yeah. Of course.

Kotaro: Then there’s your answer.

(A brief moment of silence between the two passes.)

Sakura: Um...is that all?

Kotaro: Why does there have to be more?! A little of this, a little of that and BANG! You’re outta the grave! That’s all you NEED to make a zombie, kiddo! *backs away, smiling* So, got any more questions?

Sakura: Uh, several, actually. Like, why is it so important for me to be an idol?

Kotaro: Because you’re going to save Saga.

Sakura: Just by singing and dancing?

Kotaro: *nods in agreement* Yes, that’s right.

(A visual of pop idols performing starts playing as Kotaro explains.)

Kotaro: The concept of celebrities is becoming a thing of the past, but that also means most of the competition’s died out.

(The members of the pop idol group start disappearing one by one.)

Kotaro: *walks back and forth* Our strategy is to recapitalize on that and to revitalize Saga. Which is hurdling towards irrelevance in much the same way. *Stops by the chalkboard and flips it around* And boom! *Zombie Land Saga Project is written on the board, albeit, upside down* Welcome to the Zombie Land Saga Project, baby!

Sakura: That’s nice and all, but I don’t remember anything from when I was alive. So, asking me to become a popstar and to save the whole prefecture is kinda a big deal.

Kotaro: Not to worry. The others have much more baggage than you do.

Sakura: *looks at the rest of the girls* Uh, so...who are these girls?

Kotaro: Curious?

Sakura: Well, yeah. *nods* Sorta. I mean, when someone’s bitten you thirteen times in one day, *lifts arm to reveal Tae gnawing on it* you start to wonder stuff like that.

Kotaro: *reaches for the fried squid in his pocket* They...are legends.

Sakura: Like famous?

Kotaro: *lures Tae with the squid* Correct!

(Tae takes the bait and lets go of Sakura’s arm.)

Kotaro: Each girl is a unique and shining star I’ve hand-selected of saving the Saga Prefecture! And with you, we’ve finally assembled the perfect group.

Sakura: Huh?!

Kotaro: *gestures to Saki* She conquered all of Kyushu at the turn of a century as the leader of The Dorami Biker Gang! Cower before the legendary Saki Nikaido!

(Caption that reads “Dorami’s Legendary Biker Boss, Saki Nikaido” appears onscreen.)

Kotaro: *gestures to Junko* This girl singlehandedly gave rise to the idol boom of the 1980s! The legendary Showa Period idol, Junko Konno!

(Caption that reads “Legendary Showa Idol, Junko Konno” appears onscreen.)

Kotaro: *gestures to Yugiri* From the turbulent time spending the death of a shogunate into the Meiji era, the legendary courtesan known only as Yugiri!

(Caption that reads “Legendary Courtesan, Yugiri” appears onscreen.)

Kotaro: *gestures to Lily* After her debut in a long-running period drama, she left her mark on every network on the nation! Legendary Child Actress Prodigy, Lily Hoshikawa!

(Caption that reads “Legendary Child Actress Prodigy, Lily Hoshikawa” appears onscreen.)

Kotaro: *gestures to Ai* After the year 2000, when all the major idol groups were at war, she was the implacable center for the number one group, Iron Frill! Legendary Heisei Period idol, Ai Mizuno!

(Caption that reads “Legendary Heisei Idol, Ai Mizuno” appears onscreen.)

Sakura: *mentally, to herself* Wait...isn’t she...?

Kotaro: *gestures to Tae* The Legendary Tae Yamada!

(Caption that reads “Legendary Tae Yamada” appears onscreen.)

Sakura: Huh?

Kotaro: And now you know everything you need to know about the rest of the girls.

Sakura: Wait, hang on a second.

Kotaro: Mm?

Sakura: *points at Tae* Who’s she?

Kotaro: The Legendary Tae Yamada!

(The same caption from before appears onscreen again.)

Sakura: Uh...sorry, I think I missed something. Could you repeat that? “The Legendary-

Kotaro: TAE YAMADA!

(The same caption from before appears a third time, but now obscuring most of Tae’s face.)

Sakura: Okay. I know what her name is, but...is there more?

Kotaro: Does there need to be more?!

Sakura: *hiding her face* But what’s her legend?!

Kotaro: Who says a legend has to be anything?! Oh yeah, that’s right, NOBODY!

Sakura: So she’s just a regular zombie?

Kotaro: Well, what makes you so legendary, huh? Sakura?!

Sakura: Uh-

Kotaro: Not a damn thing! From now on, I’ll say they’re all legendary except you.

Sakura: *still intimidated* Uh...

Kotaro: Anyway, at this point, they’re all your stereotypical, run-off-the-mill zombies. *turns to face his side* They haven’t yet awakened.

Sakura: That’s a thing?

Kotaro: Yes. But, I figure with a little stimulation like you had, they’ll eventually regain their consciousness. *walks away*

Sakura: H-huh? Stimulation?!

Kotaro: *does a double take after seeing the upside down text on the blackboard*

Sakura: What happened to me anyway?

Kotaro: *flips the board over* Speaking of which, you girls are going to put on a stimulating live performance.

Sakura: *starts to panic and blush profusely* Hey, don’t just ignore me! *stops blushing* Uh, wait what?

Kotaro: Your first show is-

(A building that has a sign that says “SPIRITS” plastered on it is shown.)

Kotaro: Tonight!

(A crowd of people are eagerly waiting outside of said building with a lit-up sign that reads “SAGA LIVE HOUSE GEILS (since 1980)” beside them. The crowd, including two particular people, turn to look at the van that had just arrived. Kotaro proceeds to open the van door for the girls as the crowd gazes in their direction.)

Sakura: *steps out of the van* What is this?

(Kotaro and the girls proceed to enter the building.)

Sakura: *looks around nervously* Hnngh...

(A professional death metal band is currently performing onstage as Sakura stares at a poster featuring that night’s performances backstage.)

Sakura: *holds the flyer shakily* This is a death metal concert.

Kotaro: *cheekily* It’s the only place with an open-stage policy.

Sakura: *face buried in the flyer* We shouldn’t be here! We’re gonna bomb!

Show Staff: *offscreen* Hey, you! What’re you doing?!

Sakura: *turns to Tae*

Show Staff: Don’t chew on that, *removes the mic from Tae’s mouth* this equipment’s expensive! *grunts and walks away*

Tae: *tries to reach for the mic and looks down* Ugh...augh....uh...

Kotaro: *with his arms crossed, proudly* Thanks to the awesome make-up techniques I learned in Hollywood, it’ll be impossible to figure out that you’re zombies.

Sakura: *puts flyer down* That doesn’t solve anything! *turns to look at the mirror* ...It is good though. *proceeds to touch her face*

Kotaro: *offscreen* You say that now, but yesterday, you went and passed out as soon as I tried it on you. Guess that’s the thanks I get for making you a star.

(The band onstage continues to perform, yelling into a megaphone as the crowd cheers them on. This makes Tae jolt and start acting out.)

Tae: Guh! Uargh, ugh-

Sakura: *notices Tae’s behavior and turns to her* Um, Tae?

(The lead singer onstage continues yelling into the megaphone.)

Tae: Ugh, Uwagh! *starts shaking her upper body back and forth*

Sakura: *panicking* Okay, this is weird, even for her! What the heck is going on?!

(Not long after, the rest of the semi-conscious zombie start doing the same., causing Sakura to panic even more.)

Sakura: *immediately stands up* Uh?!

Yugiri: *hits her head on a folding chair*

Sakura: This is bad! How’re we gonna explain this?! *rushes past Kotaro and grabs the fried squid in his breast pocket and quickly shoves a tentacle in each of their mouths*

Kotaro: *arms still crossed* You’ve got this.

Sakura: *trying to get the fried squid to stay in Tae’s mouth* I think it should be obvious by now that I don’t!

Kotaro: Chill out, what’s the big deal?

Sakura: “Chill out”?! How am I supposed to “chill out”, huh?! *walks towards Kotaro* I’m the only one who isn’t limping around the room trying to eat everything! And besides that, aren’t you supposed to rehearse before you get onstage? What do you expect us to perform?!

Kotaro: *gently puts his hands on the sides of her arms, calming her down* All I need you to do is trust in your instincts.

Sakura: Well, my instincts say Tae’s gonna bite people.

Kotaro: *cheekily* A zombie bite never hurt anybody!

Sakura: Not too bright, are you?

Kotaro: *frowns* OKAY!

Sakura: *flinches*

Kotaro: The good news is this crowd doesn’t know you, so the expectations are so small, they’re basically non-existent! Same goes for me, *does a quick bow* I fully expect you’ll blow it.

Sakura: Then why-

Kotaro: LEMME FINISH!

Kotaro: That’s why you have to surprise us! You can turn Saga, no, the entire world upside down if you give it everything you’ve got!

Sakura: *eyes start to sparkle* Really? You think so?

Show Staff: *signals the girls* Hey, “Death Musume (title not final)”, you’re up next.

Kotaro: *genuinely smiling* Have faith. You’ll do fine.

Sakura: Oh, Kotaro. I-

Sakura: -can’t do it.

(A moment of silence passes.)

Kotaro: *claps furiously* Okay then, it’s go time! Now, get out there and knock em’ dead, ladies!

(Death Musume is now onstage, with Sakura nervously holding a microphone with the rest of the girls aimlessly wandering about.)

Good Morning SAGA/Transcripción